Mr. Bill’s Nightmare

Bill Bushnell — Saturday, May 8, 1994

What has become [but is no longer] a yearly event for me and for others who like long and punishing rides has become one of the official courses, Mr. Bill’s Nightmare, on this year’s Sequoia Century to be held on June 5. Today’s ride is my opportunity to ride the entire course in a day and to give others in the club an opportunity to join me for the adventure. The official “preview” ride happened on Saturday May 14, but due to other pleasures I was unable to lead the Nightmare course on that day.

Our route varied slightly from the planned Sequoia route, but the overall distance and climbing was similar.

At 5:55 I pull into the parking lot at Gunn High School in Palo Alto. I fully expect to be riding alone, but when I arrive, Tom and Jeff are already there. A few minutes later Jim arrives, and at 6:06, we set off.

After a long and tiring marathon ride the previous weekend, I have resolved to ride gently today and to use my small chainring whenever I feel like it. On previous weekends I had ridden the course in sections, and on those occasions I could climb the grades without shifting below 41 gear-inches. But today I feel no need to be macho.

We begin by climbing through Los Altos Hills: Arastradero, Purissima, Elena, Natoma, Black Mountain, Altamont, and Page Mill Rd. We are on the official course at Altamont. Two large rambunctious dogs are loose on the roadway giving us our first adrenaline rush.

At Page Mill Rd. we turn left and begin a climb we’ve done many times before. Just past Foothills Park, I drop my chain off the small ring, and it jams tightly between my crank and bottom bracket. It takes me several minutes to un-jam the works. Meanwhile everyone else has ridden on ahead.

I continue slowly. Another cyclist is out to enjoy repeated climbs from Foothills Park to Moody Rd. I yell out to him, “Once isn’t enough?” He smiles.

At the bottom of the upper grade past Shotgun Bend I catch up to Tom. Tom rides with a similar philosophy to mine: take it easy and enjoy the ride. We stay together for the rest of the climb to Skyline where Jim and Jeff are waiting.

After a short pause we continue southeast on Skyline toward Saratoga Gap. The air is cool and damp, and a gray fog hangs over the land.

We stop again at the fire station for a snack and to refill our water bottles. Afterward we continue past Saratoga Gap without stopping and descend CA-9 into Saratoga. The descent is fast and fun. Without pedaling I manage to get up to 41.0 mph in the cold damp air. I continue on to the BP station at the corner of Saratoga-Sunnyvale Rd. to conduct business while the others turn right on Sixth St. and begin the tough climb up Bohlman Rd.

I return to Sixth Street and climb the lower portion of Bohlman Rd. alone. I turn left onto On Orbit Lane and begin climbing the steepest road on the course. As I near the 20+% grade section of pavement at the top of On Orbit I see Tom ahead. I catch up with him after the brief downgrade to the upper junction with Bohlman Rd.

We find Jim and Jeff waiting at the end of Bohlman Rd. They have not been waiting long. We all eat and talk about the climb before enjoying our next adventure: dirt.

Our route goes to the right and down slightly on a dirt road. It’s the only such road branching out from the end of Bohlman that is not marked with a “Keep Out” sign or similar. After a short downgrade we reach MROSD gate ES04. We ride through the gap in the fence and continue up the short steep gravel trail. The El Sereno Fire trail is as wide, smooth, and hard as a runway. The heavy rains 36 hours before don’t seem to have left much mud anywhere. The view to the right into Lyndon Canyon and of the ridge beyond is magnificent.

We turn right at the only fork in the road. The left-hand fork continues for a 1/4-mile to a viewpoint before plunging precipitously into Los Gatos. From the viewpoint one can see the trail descending very steeply down the ridge. This would be another fun descent, but signs at the top warn that there is no legal access into Los Gatos from the open space preserve, which would require one to return back up the steep, exposed hillside.

Soon we reach the Montevina gate. A guy driving up the hill to go jogging in the preserve nearly gets himself stuck in the mud by the steep road. He digs himself further into the dirt by spinning his wheels faster when he realizes he’s not getting any traction. Why do people do this?

Montevina Rd. is a fairly consistent 9% grade. The most difficult obstacles on the road are several loose, unruly dogs. The big, black lab near the top of Montevina that usually chases us away is nowhere to be seen. But further down the hill, a smaller, dog that looks like a pit-bull is loose and performing his guard duty.

On the way down we pass a group of joggers, and at CA-17 at the bottom we make another brief stop to give our hands a rest. Jeff makes a phone call.

We turn right on CA-17 and continue on the ample shoulder to Black Rd. where we turn right. We continue up a busy Black Rd. to Lakeside School where we fill up on water from the drinking fountains. Beyond Lakeside School Black Rd. climbs lazily and even descends briefly before entering a beautiful redwood forest and beginning a steep climb to Skyline.

Jeff suddenly gets another wind decides to ride on ahead. Jim and I ride together, and Tom is spinning away at a slightly slower pace.

We regroup at Skyline. At this point I suggest a bail-out for those who don’t want to descend into Ben Lomond: turn right and return to Saratoga Gap and then home. Were I alone I would probably turn right and head home as I am feeling tired and cold. Warmer air would help. I wish all this fog would burn off!

We turn left and continue on the narrow part of Skyline Blvd. that passes many Christmas tree farms. At Bear Creek Rd. we turn left. The Sequoia 100k turns right here, and I suppose, those on the Nightmare course who don’t wish to complete the entire ride but who do want lunch can follow the 100k route from here.

At Summit Rd. we turn right and shortly after turn right on Upper Zayante Rd. Zayante Rd. is a beautiful climb out of Felton, but I’ve rarely ridden down it. We pass a spread-out group of cyclists who look like they’re out for a training ride.

On the last decreasing-radius turn before Zayante reaches Fern Ridge Rd. and Zayante Creek, the pavement has a small dimple that causes me to straighten my wheel enough to send me over onto the wrong side of the road. Fortunately, no traffic is coming the other way. This is one place cyclists on the Sequoia will have to exercise caution.

We continue to the Zayante store and take a short break. The sun has just come out. After chatting with a teenager about biking and motorcycling (about which I know little), we continue to Quail Hollow Rd. We climb Quail Hollow Rd., pass the Quail Hollow Ranch, where a rest stop will be located, and descend swiftly into Ben Lomond. The descent down Quail Hollow Rd. is one that I’ve forgotten about. It’s very fast but a little bit scary because it’s on a wide curve. There are several driveways along the descent, too. We turn right on Glen Arbor and continue into Ben Lomond and stop at the market for a very leisurely lunch.

At 2:00p we realize we must begin riding again or we won’t get home at a reasonable hour. We’ve only ridden about half the course so far. I joke that if John Hughes were leading, we would have spent about half as long for lunch.

Jim has to be home at 16:30, so he leaves us by riding up CA-9 to CA-236 and then up China Grade and then back to CA-236, CA-9, and home.

The rest of us ride a short distance up SR9 and turn left on Alba Rd. Alba is not a fun climb on a full tummy, but since we lunched slowly and napped for a while in the warm sun while our food digested, we do not experience any serious gastric upset. Nevertheless, when we all get to the top, Tom calls the climb “rude”.

Alba Rd. climbs 2050 feet in 3.8 miles. One could conceivably ride a century on Alba Rd. by climbing and descending it about 13 times, thus giving one nearly 27,000 feet of climbing.

Jeff reaches the top in about 45 minutes. I get there in 50, and Tom arrives in about 55. While we wait to regroup, Bruce Hildenbrand comes by. He has been on a somewhat tamer ride that day and is heading home on Jamison Creek Rd. and then via the same route Jim is planning to take. Apparently, Bruce knows someone who climbed Alba in 19 minutes, less than half my best time.

We continue south on Empire Grade and turn right on Pine Flat Rd. where we continue down the hill and stop again at the Bonny Doon School for a water refill. Just after I signal and turn left off Pine Flat Rd. into the school an impatient motorist whom I delay for a few seconds while turning left yells out his window at me and describes himself perfectly:

“Asshole!”

Jeff hasn’t brought a light so he decides to ride on ahead. Tom and I both have lights, so I don’t mind continuing at a more relaxed pace. We continue down Pine Flat Rd. to Smith Grade Rd. where we turn left. Smith Grade descends gradually at first and then more steeply into a narrow canyon. At the bottom of the descent I see Jeff up ahead, but rather than catch up to him, I pedal slowly and wait up for Tom.

Someone has built a new Mediterranean-style house in ubiquitous peach pastel colors at the site of the old Bald Mountain School at the top of the first upgrade. Tom catches up to me here and we continue down the second gradual downgrade.

Smith Grade ends with a short but steep upgrade ending at Empire Grade. We turn left and continue up Empire Grade past the quarry. While I wait up for Tom at Felton-Empire Grade I chat with an older fellow out riding a mountain bike. He started from his home in Felton and rode to Santa Cruz, then up the coast to Bonny Doon Rd. and then up to Bonny Doon. I had seen him earlier at the Bonny Doon School. He continued to Empire Grade via Ice Cream Grade. We exchange “war stories” about all the rude, impatient drivers on the road.

Ten minutes later Tom arrives having been delayed by an “imminent bonk” requiring him to stop and eat. After a few minutes’ wait, we head down Felton-Empire Grade.

Felton-Empire Grade is a fun descent. I had forgotten how much fun it is. There are a few places one must take care: bad pavement in the downhill lane near the top, gravel around a blind right-hand turn, and a couple sharp turns on steeper downgrades. We reach the bottom and continue across CA-9 onto Graham Hill Rd. and turn left onto Mt. Hermon Rd.

Mt. Hermon Rd. is a busy and ugly expressway. It is with some regret that I route the long Sequoia courses on this segment, but Bean Creek and Mountain Charlie Roads are worth the brief unpleasantness on Mt. Hermon Rd.

We stop at the McDonald’s to use the restroom then we go across the parking lot to the nearby Safeway. Tom must be tired because he accidentally buys a bottle of seltzer water. But his Camelbak seems to be able to handle the carbonation, and Tom seems to do well on it as he does not complain later about it.

Crossing Mt. Hermon Rd. we take Kings Village Rd. to Blue Bonnet Lane to Bean Creek Rd. Bean Creek Rd. is a nice, shady one-lane road along Bean Creek on the other side of a low ridge from Scotts Valley. Bean Creek Rd. ends with a short, steep upgrade to Glenwood Highway.

We turn left on Glenwood Hwy and a short distance later left again on Mountain Charlie Rd. We stop for a few minutes to snack before making the climb.

The climb up Mountain Charlie Rd. passes uneventfully. We turn left at Summit Rd. and begin the long trek northwest along the ridge.

At Summit Rd and Bear Creek Rd. I suddenly have a violent urge to eliminate. Knowing full-well that the nearest public toilet is more than 10 miles away, I grimace and continue pedaling, hoping that my system will settle down and that the excess liquid concentrated at the end of my digestive tract will be reabsorbed.

Unfortunately, the cramps worsen. Damn! What did I eat? Shortly after we turn right off Bear Creek Rd. and onto Skyline Blvd., I search desperately for a well-concealed glade. A minute later I tell Tom to go on ahead, that I have to attend to some unpleasant business.

“Have you got any TP?”, he asks.

“No.”, I reply wondering what I’ll use.

I used to carry TP on bike rides, but after years of always finding a public toilet within a comfortable riding distance, I gave up the practice.

I decide that the best way to assure privacy is to clamber partway down the embankment and squat, hoping that no one will see my lone bike in the turnout and look downhill for its owner. I aim the voluminous explosion downhill. Instead of TP I use leaves. I remember having been taught to do this long ago as a child. The key is knowing which leaves NOT to use. Yet, I think I will carry TP from now on, just in case...

Having finished, I feel much better. Tom has continued on to Black Rd., and I ride faster to catch up.

At Black Rd., we continue on the broader part of Skyline Blvd. We stop once to take a picture of a bright green peacock by the side of the road and again at the boulders just before Mt. Bielawski. Fog is rolling in waves through Big Basin and around Ben Lomond Mountain. The scene is particularly beautiful at sunset.

We turn on our lights and head down to Saratoga Gap. The official Nightmare course descends CA-9 into Saratoga, but we decide to continue to Page Mill Rd.

Just past the Gap we enter fog. Riding in the fog on Skyline Blvd. at night is both frightening and peaceful. It’s almost as if we are floating in soup. The road is barely visible in front, but nothing can be seen to either side.

The few cars that drive past seem to see us, but I know how hard it can be to see anything from an automobile while driving in thick fog. When we get to Page Mill Rd., a MROSD ranger warns us that visibility is very poor ahead. We assure him that we’re heading down Page Mill Rd. and out of the fog.

We finally leave the fog just above Shotgun Bend. We stop once more at a turnout on the steep downhill to enjoy the view of the city lights.

The rest of the ride passes uneventfully as we descend Page Mill Rd. and continue on the expressway. Tom turns off at Hanover, and I continue onto Oregon Expressway to Middlefield Rd. and home.

I am tired, but because I babied myself in my small chainring, I didn’t damage my body. If we had not taken so many long breaks I’m sure we could have finished the course in the anticipated 14 hours. Cyclists on the Sequoia will have to ride efficiently.

Ride stats:

distance: 127.8 miles

climbing: 15,370 feet

total time: 15:57

riding time: 10:50

average speed: 11.8 mph

maximum speed: 41.0 mph

index: 189

irp: 11.9

mirp: 17.5

cd: 120

An article on indexing can be found here.

©2004, Bill Bushnell

Please do not publish or distribute for profit without permission.